PIT TOUCH and FLAG FOOTBALL in WINNIPEG MANITOBA - FOOTBALL!

A record 26 trophies were handed out on the weekend, each game with a great story to tell!

Masters: Portsmouth Spartans defeat Decatur Staleys 40-19
Portsmouth knocks off the defending Masters champions led by Jim Bell in resounding fashion. Corey Hanson throws five touchdown passes, while the Spartans defense kept the former Elite Div champion QB Jim Bell in check, limiting him to just three touchdown passes of his own. The Masters division was extremely competitive with all three teams finishing at the top of Division 11 with 4-1, 3-2 and 3-2 records respectively. Goes to show these wily veterans definitely have the skills to hang with the new breed of touch football player in the province.

Elite: The Horde Defeat LW United 1-0 (Default)
The 3rd and 4th seeded teams knock off the top two in the division demonstrating the parity that is now exists in Elite. The Horde defeat Iced Earth with an “earth shattering” defensive performance, while LW “took the top off” the Doggs in a semi-final shootout. Unfortunately the final was not to be as LW had to take a knee. Thanks to Neil McKernan who held down the fort while the Horde QB was in sickbay, you demonstrated you belong in the conversation for the top QBs in the province! The Horde win their third consecutive Elite division championship and in doing so become the second winningest Elite team in history behind only the legendary Avenger teams despite the franchise being in just its second year of existence.

Division 1: The Guild of Calamitous Intent defeat Levels! 31-12
In a rematch of the Division 1 final from the Fall, the Guild felled the Levels for a second consecutive time while avenging an early regular season loss. Unlike the Fall season where the final was a shootout, in this game the defenses came to play. Both offenses had a tough time generating scoring chances. The young defensive core of the Guild led by the veteran Harlo Larkin was able to slow down the Levels offense enough for the Guild to finally breakthrough offensively in the second half and win their now record 15th championship trophy.

Division 2: Warriors defeat Bedtime for Democracy 44-27
The Warriors get their much coveted first division 2 championship defeating the Fall Division 3 champs Bedtime for Democracy. The Warriors were led by the 7 TD passes of JJ Mikolash and 18 points from Mark Ridd. The Warriors have always been at the top of Division 2 the last few seasons but the championship had eluded them. With this championship under their belts the Warriors will take their skills to Division 1 for the Spring season. I think this is how JJ must have felt after winning his first div 2 championship:

Division 3: Shmurda She Wrote defeat Throw Up the X 1-0 (default)
Throw Up the X and Smurda She Wrote looked like a great game on paper…and that is where it stayed as Turkey Dinner doomed the X. With the game over before it started Cam Penner decided to go on a 24-hour drinking cycle all while serenading the lounge:

Cam you swear too much.

Division 4: Rebels defeat Butterfingers 26-6
Chris Koolage finally got the early timeslot he so desperately craved and took full advantage of it, throwing four touchdown passes to three different receivers. The defense for the Rebels took over after that registering five interceptions. A big ups to the Butterfingers who battled injuries and missing players all season to make the final. They put on an offensive display in their semi-final and a valiant effort in the finals against a veteran-laden Rebels squad.

Division 5: Meat’s Pizzeria defeat The Kraken 40-13
Meat’s Pizzeria, Charleswood Champs, Charleswood Chiefs, it doesn’t matter what these guys are called they just show up in the Winter season run roughshod over the competition then retreat back to Charleswood with their trophy for another year. This time around game MVP Jeremy Lomonaco threw six touchdown passes to five different receivers on route to slaying the Kraken. Congratulations gentlemen, the PIT will see you guys next Winter in Div 4!

Division 6: Peg City Misfits defeat Wahoo Football 39-20
Peg City QB Garrison Trinder, whined, complained and threw a temper tantrum when thrust into Division 6, wanting instead to play in div 22. Then he goes out and runs an undefeated squad en route to the Division 6 championship. A great accomplishment from a 15 year old (well not the complaining part)! Sign this guy up now if you are looking to the future as ten years from now he will be running the Elite division in Manitoba! Till then Peg City will keep climbing the ladder, perhaps next time we will see them in Div 4 against the vaunted Meat’s Pizzeria (for which Garrison will complain)!

Division 7: The Nomads defeat Woodys 32-25
The Nomads were pretty banged up this season. They lost two key members of the team to serious injury early in the season and while they were in sick bay the rest of the team did just enough to sneak into the playoffs. Once there, the Nomads showed their veteran presence knocking off both The D and the top seeded Woodys. The Woodys jumped out to a quick 13-0 lead with Steven Trinder running wild, however when late arriving Sukhmen Brar appeared he locked Mr. Trinder down in one of the best rushing performances in PIT history. Even though he only played two-thirds of a game, Sukhmen saved the day for the Nomads, allowing now 60 year old Glen “my old age pension is spent on beer” Dyck to hoist another championship trophy.

Division 8: The Tribe defeat Barley Bros 13-0
The 4th place Tribe first knocked off the undefeated Beerhawks then went and took down the defending champion Barley Bros in a stellar playoff performance. Even when The Tribe is down their usual QB, Griffin Berstein steps up and takes the reigns to give the Tribe yet another championship. These guys are grizzled playoff performers already in their careers and no matter who the PIT puts up against them, the Tribe finds a way to come out victorious. The Tribe = Championship.

Division 9: Nasty Boyz defeat Goodfellas 24-12
The Nasty Boyz were another 4th place team who first knocked off both the top seeds including the undefeated Ninjas in Paris on route to championship glory. Only 8 of the top seeds in the 22 men’s divisions actually won their championships demonstrating the parity that is in the PIT! The Nasty Boyz were led by the three sacks and two safeties from Matt Zakaluzny who was part of the ‘Nasty’ defense that gave up only 18 points in two playoff games. Who says defense doesn’t win championships in indoor?

Division 10: Vikings defeat Baby Birds 34-20
Andrew George eviscerates the Baby Birds with five touchdown passes, while David Jackson slayed the defense with 20 points. The Vikings avenged the ghosts of seasons past to win their first ever PIT championship. Those t-shirts looked great and I am sure the beers tasted just as good! The Baby Birds were led by QB Tyler Haluik’s two TD passes, but who unfortunately broke his wing the night before and became a sitting duck for the Vikings to feast upon.

Division 11: Free Agents defeat Free Agents Part II 33-13
In the battle of the Free Agents, the Free Agents defeated the Free Agents on the strength of five touchdowns from the Free Agents who held the Free Agents to just two touchdowns of their own. The Free Agents also out intercepted the Free Agents 5-0. Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo Buffalo. Anyone confused yet? It is nice to see we were able to get not one but two free agent teams for the Winter and both free agents teams were able to make it to the finals. Congratulations to the Free Agents, for shame Free Agents!

Division 12: Strange Brew defeat Clip Clops 26-13
Strange Brew were lucky to just be in this final having edged the MegaPowers in the semifinals 34-33 after trailing by 19 points in the second half! But after their momentous comeback victory they never looked back, defeating the Clip Clops by two scores. Steve Nabess (now Sr), kept the pick machine rolling with four more during the playoffs and threw for four touchdowns in the championship game enroute to victory, two of those strikes to Travers Cummings. The party got a little out of hand and the hosers from Strange Brew ended up in the hoosegow.

Division 13: Wintergreens defeat Superheroes in Training 23-12
The Superheroes have some great young talent, however along with their talent they seem to have quite an inflated sense of self. The posturing, dancing, playing possum, and trash talking during the game had the Horde players who were watching offering to take them on to teach them a lesson. No need however as the Wintergreens took the Superheroes out to the woodshed and showed them some humility. Multiple Winter trophy winner Derek Mills threw three touchdown passes, two to William Evans-Murphy to seal the victory and send the Superheroes back to training.

Division 14: North Bay defeats Danger Zone 25-12
North Bay generally showed up drunk, belligerent, covered in flashing lights and cardboard signs…and were perhaps the most entertaining team to watch in the Winter. Led by the Jacobucci Brothers this is an up and coming team. The J Bros had quite the season racking of a couple of championships, game MVPs and an all-star game MVP along the way. Most impressive? North Bay one of the few teams who have entered the Danger Zone and come out victorious!

Division 15: Squad defeat The Uncompromising Men 27-6
The Squad is an imposing group of young footballers who definitely know how to play defense only giving up a single touchdown in each of their semi-final and final games. Led by the 18 points of Jonathan Remple the Uncompromising Men were no match for their swarming defense. The UMen however had a great run to the finals, knocking off the previously undefeated Scoregasms in the semi-final to play spoilers, setting the stage for yet another top seed to go down in flames.

Division 16: Dammit Donald defeat Secret Squirrels 20-15
Did Dammit Donald pull a fast one? Was a trap set for the squirrels? Calling in their own default just hours before the game only to resurrect their team (too blasphemous on Easter Sunday?) in time to play the game. John Gray threw for three touchdowns in substitution for their regular Donald QB while Elston Bostock of the Secret Squirrels kept him in check with three sacks. After the game this is all that could be heard from the Secret Squirrels lair:

Division 17: Hurricanes defeat Young Guns 23-2
The Hurricanes rock the Young Guns, like well, a Hurricane. The Hurricanes defense was reminiscent of the stellar Miami teams that produced so many coke addicted NFL superstars in the 80s and early 90s. Led by the 13 points of Tyler Scraba they were too much for the Young Guns who could only manage a safety on two sacks by Hunter (perhaps the greatest name in the PIT!) Romas.

Division 18: Stop Beating Your Peterson defeat Kiss the Baby 42-6
With all of the talk of defense it was about time that a team showed that indoor is all about the offense. Putting up 43 and 42 points respectively in their two playoff games Peterson beat all over both the Hawks and the Baby. Peterson massaged their helmets while basting their turkey on this holiday all while rubbing out their competition. Chris Bozynski had an honourable discharge of 20 points while Cole Brydges fired off 13 more in a game in which the Baby had their pipes cleaned.

Division 19: Trojans defeat Gym Class Heroes 45-14
The kids from Vincent Massey played the game of their lives taking down another undefeated team in Gym Class Heroes in the finals of Div 19. Unbeknownst to the Heroes, the Trojans are still in Gym Class and thus held the upper hand! The Trojans avenged their regular season loss to the Heroes on the backs of Andre Dueck’s six touchdown passes, Liam Casey’s 19 points, Abdul Gassama’s 18 and the two sacks registered by Carson Mallette. Congrats gentlemen, you could be the future of the PIT!

Division 20: Third and Schlong defeat Old Skool 32-27
Josh Hazelhurst threw for four touchdowns and Zach Smith had 15 points for Old Skool however those great performance were overshadowed by the 4 touchdown passes, two interceptions and pick six from Third and Schlong QB Jordan Milwaldt. Old Skool felt the Schlong of four different players who crossed their goal line without consent. I am pretty sure I write these summaries just to get in a few dick jokes! At any rate congratulations to the Schlong, may you always be hard to play against!

Division 21: Adrian Peterson School of Discipline Defeat Graceful Giraffes 44-12
The Graceful Giraffes entered the game wounded with two of their top players already out with injury…then unfortunately perhaps their best player Scott Angus broke his wrist early in the game. Adrian Peterson then did what they do best, pick on the young and the defenseless. They pulled out their switch and pounced on the unsuspecting giraffes, feasting on what was left of their remains and putting up a remarkable 44 points in the process.

Division 22: Filthy Casuals defeat Back That Pass Up 32-12
The Filthy Casuals did back that pass up, tuning their opponents up for 32 points. These hard-core gamers were led by the four TD passes and 13 points of Matt Castellano and the two interceptions by Riley Moreau. Disco Dave Colomy threw two touchdown passes in defeat. Now if the Filthy Casuals were as hard core gamers as they think they are, try playing some old school games in the PIT arcade here: http://pitfootball.com/menu/the-arcade (under construction!) Imagine growing up knowing that no game could be beaten, that the games just progressed to the point of impossibility, and when things went horribly wrong you just started right back at the beginning. Way to scar kids for life Atari!

Coed 1: Flying Squirrels Defeat Road Rockets 1-0 (Default)
The Flying Squirrels win their first ever coed championship after being the bridesmaid the last three consecutive finals…and they needed a default to do it! A big thanks to Max Jenson who helmed the Squirrels to first place in the regular season after regular QB Jon Franklin had his throwing hand nearly severed off playing hockey…after which he was told he had to hand in his squirrel costume. Courtney “Pick Six Queen” Shepell gets her first perfectly pressed PIT t shirt…but doesn’t show up to claim it!

Coed 2: Reebok Choy defeat Coed Free Agents 48-12
Reebok Choy have always had the tools to compete with the best of Coed and they definitely put all of those tools together in the Winter. Knocking off teams from the competitive side and running the table versus the recreational teams. Derek Mills threw seven touchdown passes and the Choy defense only gave up two scores all playoffs which made for a great recipe for success. With the trophy Mr. Mills hauls in three PIT championship trophies in the Winter (Reebok Choy, Wintergreens, Squad), quite an impressive feat! Reebok Choy will now take their coed team to the competitive division for the Spring.

Thanks to all 136 teams who registered in the Winter making the PIT the largest touch football league in Canada. A record 26 trophies were handed out and will be engraved “Stanley Cup Style”. With the PIT in its seventh year we are now on the next set of rungs on many of the trophies. The nicest trophies in recreational sports are looking pretty sweet with all of the engravings!

The PIT Crew